How will I sleep tonight??? Tonight, I will go to sleep knowing I am a good, loyal, unconditionally loving and supportive friend. How will you sleep tonight? It has recently come to my attention that the word 'relationship' does not only apply to the established understanding between two lovers. "Relationship" applies to every established being of communication and knowing between yourself and those in your life. We call our relationships by different names. There is boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, co-worker, parent, child and, of course, the most overused and devalued..."friend". So tonight, I focus on the 'relationship', and all it encompasses, of 'friendship'. Have you ever checked out my facebook? I publically admit, wrongfully no doubt, that I claim over 1,090 "friends". I know, it's laughable! Just an example of how misconstrued that word really is in our society. Do I call 1,090+ people for lunch dates? NO. Do 1,090 people call me or text me when I have a death in family? NO. Do over 1,000 people come to a birthday party for my child? NO. So why do I claim all these 'friends'? Mostly because I have a natural 'facebook stalker' mentality and I like to see how everyone else's life compares to mine. LOL jk....sort of. ;) I bring this point up because our generation throws the word 'friendship' around like a freaking ball! We can meet someone and 45 minutes later have access to thousands of photos of them, their job details, etc and we find this acceptable!
But when it comes down to a real friendship, facebook can't be the determinate of what is or is not valid and real. Here is my thought on it.... a friend knows what a p.t. is, a good friend shows up at your house with one if you send a text saying you may be late. A friend tells you that you're sweet, funny, pretty, etc. A good friend is TOLD that they are all of those things. A friend says 'sorry' when they hear about a loss in your family. A good friend sends flowers to the funeral with a card saying "in my thoughts". A friend shows up for the party. A good friend stays to help clean up. A friend celebrates with you. A good friend struggles with you. A friend doesn't speak badly to you. A good friend stands up for you when someone else does. The list conintues on and on. Anyone can be a 'friend' but it takes someone very special to be a good friend, and even more amazing to be a best friend. I think so many of us are alright with being just a 'friend' and never strive to establish a true 'good friendship' and miss out on all of the amazing benefits and love that can bloom from having a true, honest and loyal friendship.
As many of you know, I recently saw the true UGLY colors of a few of my 'friends' and have since had to cut them out of my life completely. At first, it was really upsetting, but as two of my girlfriends sat outside with me while I cried in utter disbelief, I was overwhelmed by the feeling of their silent support and unconditional love. It was because of Maggie and Vanessa's sincere concern for their "friend" (me) that made lossing the shallow friendships easy. They just loved me, embraced me, understood me and waited for me to ask for anything. They were there as servants to our friendship. It's how it should be and I know without a doubt in my mind that I would do the same for them.
So although the wound is still open, I am healing and with a new view on the importance of true friendship. I will sleep tonight knowing that I love my friendships with all of my heart, and that I would do anything for those who have made an impact on my soul. I can only pray that I have done the same them and that they are as thankful for me as I am for them. So rather than priding myself on my ability to claim thousands, I pride myself on being claimed by few. Much more rewarding in my book. I hope you all can sleep well tonight also and always remember that its not what you do that matters, it's how you impact those around you that does. Leave good impressions. Heal wounds when you can rather than cause them. And always find the simplicity of being a good person more attractive than the difficulties of being a nasty one. Good night 'friends'. MUCH LOVE.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Being an "Inspiration" means more...
So we all struggle to find our "purpose" in life. We try to make sense of all the heartache, pain, discomfort, disappointments, shocks, loss and even happiness... What's it all for? What does it mean? If someone where to ask me I would say "ummm...." and stare at them with an obvious look of total confusion. I can't answer that...who can? However, what I can tell you all is that I have found purpose...FOR ME.
After I left my relationship, I struggled but somehow I found this deep down strength and positivity. I began my weight loss journey in July 2010 and started focusing on making Parker's life the best that it could be by giving him a strong, secure and emotionally stable mother. I began receiving emails on facebook from people who literally wrote "You're an Inspiration" in the subject line. I had two people in particular stick out to me. It was not because I had all these nice things, a hot husband or anything materialistic like that (PS, I DON'T have that stuff...just making a point, hopefully). These two woman were commending me for being strong enough to walk away when most would have suffered and ( this is the best part) they were commending me for being such a loving mom and my ability to do it alone. I had another mother text me and say "I don't know how you do it on your own...you're an inspiration".
After hearing that word many times, I took the title to heart and with a lot of pride. I was sooooo happy that not only were women understanding my difficulties, they were embarrassing me for crushing them! Soon, I developed friendships in where women would come to me and say "Ok Tara, need your strength (or advice, or just a shoulder to cry on)". I realized this was my purpose. To live in a way that exhibits a positive outcome to a pretty dark beginning.
Now, I have lost 99 pounds, and the word 'inspiration' continues to be used. I have had friends come to me asking me about healthy eating, exercise, staying motivated, etc... I have even developed a few meal plans for a couple of people. I was told today that my weight loss has "inspired" another couple to begin their path to healthy living...I felt so blessed and humbled that I nearly cried. Especially since it came from someone I respect and admire so much!
I have figured it out....doing things for ourselves it great, but if it doesn't positively impact others then it's worthless. We can be the happiest, healthiest people in the world, but if you walk by those who need help or even just a kind word of encouragement then you're lacking purpose. Not to get all "church-y" on ya, but this is a good verse... (Matthew 16:25)
25 Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self.
I think that just about sums it up...right? I hope to continue to inspire and to be inspired. It's truly my honor to help anyone in anyway that I can with achieving their goals (whether that be weight related, finding power inside, or just being there) and I pray that I can continue to do so.
Hope everyone is enjoying their Tuesday.... Sorry guys, Biggest Loser may be interrupted by Obama tonight :( Just sayin'. Stay positive and motivated. Tomorrow comes too soon so enjoy your 'today'.
After I left my relationship, I struggled but somehow I found this deep down strength and positivity. I began my weight loss journey in July 2010 and started focusing on making Parker's life the best that it could be by giving him a strong, secure and emotionally stable mother. I began receiving emails on facebook from people who literally wrote "You're an Inspiration" in the subject line. I had two people in particular stick out to me. It was not because I had all these nice things, a hot husband or anything materialistic like that (PS, I DON'T have that stuff...just making a point, hopefully). These two woman were commending me for being strong enough to walk away when most would have suffered and ( this is the best part) they were commending me for being such a loving mom and my ability to do it alone. I had another mother text me and say "I don't know how you do it on your own...you're an inspiration".
After hearing that word many times, I took the title to heart and with a lot of pride. I was sooooo happy that not only were women understanding my difficulties, they were embarrassing me for crushing them! Soon, I developed friendships in where women would come to me and say "Ok Tara, need your strength (or advice, or just a shoulder to cry on)". I realized this was my purpose. To live in a way that exhibits a positive outcome to a pretty dark beginning.
Now, I have lost 99 pounds, and the word 'inspiration' continues to be used. I have had friends come to me asking me about healthy eating, exercise, staying motivated, etc... I have even developed a few meal plans for a couple of people. I was told today that my weight loss has "inspired" another couple to begin their path to healthy living...I felt so blessed and humbled that I nearly cried. Especially since it came from someone I respect and admire so much!
I have figured it out....doing things for ourselves it great, but if it doesn't positively impact others then it's worthless. We can be the happiest, healthiest people in the world, but if you walk by those who need help or even just a kind word of encouragement then you're lacking purpose. Not to get all "church-y" on ya, but this is a good verse... (Matthew 16:25)
25 Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self.
I think that just about sums it up...right? I hope to continue to inspire and to be inspired. It's truly my honor to help anyone in anyway that I can with achieving their goals (whether that be weight related, finding power inside, or just being there) and I pray that I can continue to do so.
Hope everyone is enjoying their Tuesday.... Sorry guys, Biggest Loser may be interrupted by Obama tonight :( Just sayin'. Stay positive and motivated. Tomorrow comes too soon so enjoy your 'today'.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Starting HCG....OH MY!
Ok, let's face it....I am skeptical. For those of you who know me and know my "story", please bare with me as I fill in the maybe one or two who don't. I was recently engaged to the father of my child and after many, many, MANY months of arguing with myself I decided to call off my wedding. It was a turning point in my life and I thank God everyday for giving me the strength and courage to make the most difficult decision I have ever been forced to make.
At that point, I realized that I had lost myself. I'm not talking about "oh I lost all my hobbies because we did what he liked and blah blah blah woe is me....." I mean I had LOST myself control. I had become nearly 300 lbs at one point, had shut out the world, lost my joys of motherhood for a little bit, lost interest in taking pride in myself and my accomplishments, was financially lost and spiritually drained. I had become a walking dead woman. It was terrible, but ready for the good news....I KNEW IT!
Since the decision to leave my former 'fiance', I have lost nearly 90 lbs. I have to say that it was with the help of my amazing friends and supportive family that I was able to do this. They encouraged me to find the positive side of the life that I was living. They motivated me with kind words and constant "you look good!" comments that pushed me even harder to maintain this new healthy (and much sexier) lifestyle.
Now for the HCG....I have done really well on my own but have gotten to the point where my methods are no longer effective. So my mom tells me about the 'miracle drop diet' and I immediately become interested. I signed up for the HCG Biggest Loser event here in Columbia and here I am in day 3 of the VLCD (very low calorie diet).
The first two days were terrible for me. They are called the "loading days" where you need to eat about 3000 calories. For someone like me who normally eats approx. 900-1000 calories a day, this was terrible! I gained 7 lbs. in those two days. It was heartbreaking for me. BUT Here is the silver lining. two days later (today) I have lost all 7 lbs PLUS 2.5 additional pounds. I am amazed! Yesterday I was up 3 lbs from my starting weight and today I am 2.5 lbs below it. I am just sticking to the protocol and keeping my butt motivated! (if you need help with motivation, I have Tivo'ed the Miss America swimsuit portion....you're more than welcome to come over in your swimsuit and watch it. TRUST ME, that is motivation).
I will be sure to keep everyone updated with my progress, provide some amazing tips, recipes, funny stories, etc along the way of this 30 day adventure. I am pretty darn excited and honestly, not that hungry! HAPPY TUESDAY!!!!!
*hint for the day.... watch the Biggest Loser on NBC tonight for additional motivation to kick ass in life, love, health and happiness!
At that point, I realized that I had lost myself. I'm not talking about "oh I lost all my hobbies because we did what he liked and blah blah blah woe is me....." I mean I had LOST myself control. I had become nearly 300 lbs at one point, had shut out the world, lost my joys of motherhood for a little bit, lost interest in taking pride in myself and my accomplishments, was financially lost and spiritually drained. I had become a walking dead woman. It was terrible, but ready for the good news....I KNEW IT!
Since the decision to leave my former 'fiance', I have lost nearly 90 lbs. I have to say that it was with the help of my amazing friends and supportive family that I was able to do this. They encouraged me to find the positive side of the life that I was living. They motivated me with kind words and constant "you look good!" comments that pushed me even harder to maintain this new healthy (and much sexier) lifestyle.
Now for the HCG....I have done really well on my own but have gotten to the point where my methods are no longer effective. So my mom tells me about the 'miracle drop diet' and I immediately become interested. I signed up for the HCG Biggest Loser event here in Columbia and here I am in day 3 of the VLCD (very low calorie diet).
The first two days were terrible for me. They are called the "loading days" where you need to eat about 3000 calories. For someone like me who normally eats approx. 900-1000 calories a day, this was terrible! I gained 7 lbs. in those two days. It was heartbreaking for me. BUT Here is the silver lining. two days later (today) I have lost all 7 lbs PLUS 2.5 additional pounds. I am amazed! Yesterday I was up 3 lbs from my starting weight and today I am 2.5 lbs below it. I am just sticking to the protocol and keeping my butt motivated! (if you need help with motivation, I have Tivo'ed the Miss America swimsuit portion....you're more than welcome to come over in your swimsuit and watch it. TRUST ME, that is motivation).
I will be sure to keep everyone updated with my progress, provide some amazing tips, recipes, funny stories, etc along the way of this 30 day adventure. I am pretty darn excited and honestly, not that hungry! HAPPY TUESDAY!!!!!
*hint for the day.... watch the Biggest Loser on NBC tonight for additional motivation to kick ass in life, love, health and happiness!
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